You and your “identity”
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STORY FROM MY EARLY NAVY DAYS by VIKRAM KARVE
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CREATE YOUR OWN MERIT
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You must create your own merit and have your own unique identity.
Personal Merit cannot be achieved through associations with other people.
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Do you have to say:
“I am so-and-so’s wife — or husband — or son — etc etc…?”
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Or — do you have your own independent identity…?
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Things have changed now.
But — many years ago — many wives would carry their husband’s identity — and their status would depend on their husband’s position.
This was especially so in the Defence Services.
Here is a story that happened in those days — my early Navy Days.
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THE LADY WITH AN IDENTITY
Story from My Navy Days
Memoir By Vikram Karve
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This happened in the 1970’s — around 46 years ago — when I reported to a frontline warship — a Frigate — my first ship — as a young Sub-Lieutenant.
I reported to the warship in Mumbai — and — in the evening — there was a party in the ship’s wardroom.
(Wardroom is a Navy Officers Mess)
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Ladies had also been invited to the party — so — all the “lady wives” of the married officers were present for the party.
Navy Social Etiquette requires that:
“a Gentleman (Officer) is always introduced to a Lady…”
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So — the PMC took me to the ladies — and — he introduced me to the ladies.
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In response — the ladies started introducing themselves to me.
“Hello — I am Mrs. “AAA” — the Captain’s wife…”
“Hello — I am Mrs. “BBB” — the Commander’s wife…”
“Hello — I am Mrs. “CCC” — the Engineer-Officer’s wife…”
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And — all the ladies introduced themselves accordingly — stating their husband’s name, rank and appointment.
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Suddenly — a young lady introduced herself differently:
“Hi — I am Dr. “XXX” — I am a Lecturer at “YYY” College — I teach English Literature…”
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I was impressed.
She did not mention her husband’s name, rank or appointment — she just stated who she was.
Here was a lady who had an identity of her own — she did not need the “crutches” of her husband’s military rank or appointment.
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NB:
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This story happened around 46 years ago in the 1970’s.
Those days — “military wives” derived their identity from their husband’s military rank.
So — it was unique to see a “military wife” asserting her own identity.
Nowadays — with the proliferation of “career wives” in the defence services — most “military wives” have their own independent identity — and many wives prefer to retain their maiden names even after marriage — rather than suffix their husband’s surname.
So — this story may seem rather antiquated in today’s times.
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VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
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Disclaimer:
- This is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
- All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
- E&OE
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No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/07/the-lady-who-was-proud-of-her-own.html
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
This story was written by me in April 2017 and Posted Online earlier by me Vikram Karve in my Blog under the title INTRODUCTIONS TO LADIES at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/introductions-to-ladies.html
Also posted by me in my writing blog at url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/04/15/lady-with-an-identity/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/01/21/the-lady-with-an-identity/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/10/30/a-story-for-military-wives/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/11/22/what-is-your-identity/ etc
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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