Psychological Manipulation and Emotional Abuse — “Gaslighting”
GASLIGHTING
STORY BY VIKRAM KARVE
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“Gaslighting” means trying to convince you — that you are wrong — even when you are not wrong.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which people try to manipulate your emotions and make you feel guilty about something that is not your fault — but — in fact — it may be their fault — for which they should feel guilty about.
The aim of gaslighting is to make you feel guilty about something — when actually — there is no need for you to feel guilty about it.
On many occasions — even “victims” are “gaslighted” and made to feel guilty for their own misfortunes caused by someone else.
Here is an apocryphal story that illustrates the art of “gaslighting” — how people “gaslight” persons who are in fact victims of an incident.
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BLAME GAME
A Teaching Story
Retold by Vikram Karve
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A Husband and his Wife came home one day to find that thieves had broken into their home and it was a big burglary.
Their entire valuables, jewelery, and everything portable had been stolen and taken away.
Yes — everything had been stolen — and the unfortunate couple had lost all their belongings.
“It is all your fault…” the wife scolded her husband, “You should have made sure that the house was properly locked before we left.”
A neighbor looked sternly at the husband and said: “Maybe you did not lock the windows properly.”
“Why did you not expect this…?” another neighbor chided the hapless husband, “You should have installed a burglar alarm…!”
“Maybe the locks were faulty. Why did you did not replace them in time…?” another neighbor blamed the husband.
“Just a moment…” the husband said, “surely I am not the only one to blame…?”
“Then who should we blame…?” everyone shouted in unison.
“What about the thieves…?” the husband asked, “Are they totally innocent…?”
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In this example of gaslighting — everyone is blaming the husband — when — in fact — they should be sympathising with him — since he is a victim of the robbery.
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GASLIGHTING EXAMPLES
Don’t you see examples of gaslighting everywhere…?
Haven’t you seen victims of rape and molestation being gaslighted and made to feel guilty by insinuating that they themselves were responsible for the incident because of the way they behaved or dressed…?
Attempts are made to shift the blame from the perpetrator to the victim by making the victim feel guilty by psychological manipulation.
Gaslighting may happen in all types of relationships — at work — and in personal relationships like marriage.
For example — in a marriage — the husband has an extra-marital affair — and he makes the wife believe that it was her own sexual inadequacies that are the reason for the husband having an affair.
Instead of being contrite and accepting his mistake — the errant husband gaslights his wife and makes her feel guilty for no fault of hers.
Gaslighting can be seen in various forms in all types of relationships.
I have seen gaslighting happening at work too.
Even during these stressful COVID times — we see the “powers-that-be” trying to “gaslight” common citizens who actually must be treated with compassion since they are the “victims” of COVID.
Are the “powers-that-be” trying to cover-up their own failure to control the COVID Pandemic by resorting to “gaslighting” common citizens and making them believe that it is the fault of common citizens that the Second Wave of COVID has come and Corona Virus cases are rising…?
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GASLIGHTING IS A FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE
“Gaslighting” means trying to convince someone that they are wrong even when they are not wrong.
The aim of gaslighting is to make you feel guilty about something that you don’t need to feel guilty about.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which people try to psychologically manipulate your emotions and make you feel guilty about something that is not your fault — but — in fact — it may be their fault — for which they should feel guilty about.
In many cases — even “victims” are “gaslighted” — and — by psychological manipulation — they are made to feel guilty for their own misfortunes caused by someone else.
It is a double whammy for victims.
First — they suffer the traumatic incident perpetrated by someone else — then — they are gaslighted by the perpetrator into feeling guilty for no fault of theirs.
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GASLIGHTING
Dear Reader — think about it — has “gaslighting” ever happened to you…?
Have you been “gaslighted” — at work, at home, in society, at school/college, in relationships…?
Do comment and let us know if you have been a victim of gaslighting or observed gaslighting anywhere.
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VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
- This story is a fictional spoof, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
- All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
Link to my source blog posts: https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/04/01/blame-game-story/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/12/16/catharsis-story-am-i-a-victim-of-gaslighting/ and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2020/12/am-i-victim-of-gaslighting.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/04/13/how-to-gaslight/ etc
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
