Humor in Uniform : “Navy Cut”

Vikram Karve
12 min readDec 17, 2024

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Humor at Sea

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“NAVY CUT”

Story by Vikram Karve

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NB:

1. This story happened around 47 years ago in the 1970’s.

2. For the benefit of my civilian readers — certain Naval Terms have been explained in brackets and italics.

3. Military, Navy and Veteran readers may skip these explanations.

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PART 1

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“OUT PIPE”

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We sailed out after breakfast in the morning.

At around 10 AM — “Special Sea Dutymen” (SSD) had been “secured” after we left Mumbai harbour (Mumbai was called Bombay in the 1970’s).

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[Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) are key sailors involved in certain important evolutions of the ship like entering/leaving harbour, anchoring, coming alongside, close-quarter manoeuvring, refuelling at sea etc. Officers and Key Senior/Junior Sailors and in each department man/operate vital posts/equipment during these evolutions].

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Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) had been “closed up” before leaving harbour.

And — Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) were “secured” after leaving harbour.

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[“close up” means to immediately proceed to place of duty.

“secure” means to stop work. After the evolution is completed — the SSD hands over duties to the “Duty Watch” and the SSD “secures”.

The “Duty Watch” performs their assigned duties for the 4 hours “Watch” — at sea — the working day is divided into watches of 4 hours each — starting midnight — with two dog watches of 2 hours each in the evening — in order to escape the monotony of standing the same watch every day…].

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At 10:30 AM — “Stand Easy” was “piped”.

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[“Pipe” (or Boatswain’s Call) is a command issued by the Quartermaster over the ship’s broadcast system — it comprises a boatswain’s “call” — a methodical wailing whistle peculiar for each “command” — followed the verbal “command” spoken clearly on the ship’s broadcast system.

“Stand Easy” is a short break for the crew in the day’s work routine for a cup of tea and a smoke…].

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“Stand Easy” had been piped — and — we were enjoying a cup of tea with snacks in the Wardroom.

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Suddenly — the Ship’s Main Broadcast System (SRE) crackled to life — and we were surprised to hear a rather funny announcement:

“Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद )

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We were wondering about this crazy announcement — when we heard the next announcement:

“Executive Officer requested Bridge — Captain’s Compliments…”

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This was going to be fun — it seemed that the XO was going to get a “Bottle” from the Captain.

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[The term “Bottle” is Naval Slang for reprimand…].

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So — I went up to the ship’s bridge to see the fun.

The furious Captain was shouting at the XO.

“What the hell is happening…? What is this bloody “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) nonsense…?” the Captain asked the XO.

“Sir — “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe”. The Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy”…” the XO said.

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[Normally — “Stand Easy” time is from 10:30 AM to 10:45 AM in the morning and for 10 minutes in the afternoon from 3 PM to 3:10 PM.

After “Stand Easy” time is over — there is a Boatswain’s Call — “Out Pipe” — asking the sailors to get back to work after their “Tea and Smoke” break.

The word “Pipe” in “Out Pipe” refers to Tobacco “Pipe”.

In earlier days — most sailors smoked “Pipes” — Tobacco Pipes.

It was thought that the nicotine in tobacco smoke boosted your mental clarity — gave you more energy — and soothed your fatigue — so — sailors would be rejuvenated after “Stand Easy” break.

On hearing the “Out Pipe” — sailors would extinguish their smoking tobacco pipes — and get back to work.

“Out Pipe” is also sounded after Breakfast — Lunch Break — or whenever men are required to come up from their messes to muster for work…].

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The XO was explaining the Hindi Announcement “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) to the Captain.

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“Sir — “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe” — the Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy” time was over…” the XO explained to the Captain.

“But why the hell are we making such ridiculous “pipes” in Hindi on this ship…?” the Captain bellowed.

“Sir — there is a recent letter from Naval Headquarters (NHQ) to encourage use of Hindi in the Navy — and — they have forwarded a list of Hindi Equivalent Words for Navy Terminology…” the XO said, “and the Hindi experts in the Navy had translated “Out Pipe” as “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ).

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(Literally translated — “Cigarette Band” means “Cigarette Shut/Close/Stop”)

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The Captain thought about it and spoke.

“Pipes are not Cigarettes…” the Captain opined, “the correct Hindi name for “Pipe” is “Chillum” ( चिल्लम ) — or — “Hookah” ( हुक्का ) — so — “Out Pipe” should be translated as “Chillum Band” ( चिल्लम बंद ) — or — “Hookah Band” ( हुक्का बंद ) — isn’t it…?”

“Yes, Sir…” the XO said, in agreement with the Captain.

“Send a letter to Naval Headquarters (NHQ) accordingly…” the Captain ordered the XO.

“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said.

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(“Aye Aye” — means — “I understand and I will comply”)

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“And one more thing — “Number One”…” the Captain said to the XO.

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(Colloquially — on a ship — the Captain addresses his XO as “Number One” — with reference to the term “First Lieutenant” — as the Executive Officer was colloquially called in earlier Royal Navy Days).

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“And one more thing — “Number One”…” the Captain said.

“Yes, Sir…?” the XO said.

“Stop these Hindi announcements. I don’t want sailors to get confused. Many sailors don’t understand Hindi that well. Tomorrow — they may ask me to give “Conning Orders” in Hindi — and there will be chaos. Remember — the Navy sails in international waters — so — in the Navy — we work in English. So — no more Hindi announcements on this ship…” the Captain said.

“Sir — the NHQ letter…” the XO stammered — a bit hesitant.

The Captain interrupted the XO and said sternly to him:

“Till I am in Command of this ship — all “pipes” and “announcements” will be in English.

Do you understand…?”

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“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said to the Captain.

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So — “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) was “Band” ( बंद ).

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And — we were back to the proper traditional announcement — “Out Pipe”.

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PART 2

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“NAVY CUT”

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Nowadays — smoking may be frowned upon.

But — some years ago — till the 1970’s at least — smoking was considered cultured, stylish and urbane — a “social grace” — a sign of sophistication and refinement.

I started smoking in the 1970’s — after I joined the Navy — though — I did smoke a rare cigarette during my college days in the company of my friends — many of whom were smokers.

In the Navy — smoking was a part of everyday life and social culture.

Cigarettes were smoked in offices and all social occasions — and — with the permission of the senior officer — you could smoke during conferences and meetings — in fact — a tin of cigarettes would be kept on the conference tables with a lighter — and ashtrays were ubiquitous.

During our training days — we could smoke in classrooms — with the permission of the instructor — who would be a smoker in most cases.

Of course — cigarettes were very much a part of “Stand Easy” breaks.

On ships — we got the best of Imported and Indian Cigarettes at “Duty Free” Rates — and — this was a big incentive to smoke.

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(Also — we got the best of Scotch Whisky and Foreign Liquor, Beer and Wines at “Duty Free” Rates — so — we were “motivated” to enjoy drinking as well).

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After enjoying smoking the best of cigarettes — one day — I saw an old “Sea Dog” smoking a pipe in our ship’s wardroom.

I felt that pipe smoking was more genteel and dignified than smoking cigarettes — so — I decided to try “pipe smoking”.

I went to a reputed Tobacconist in Fort, Mumbai — and — I bought a pipe — a complete pipe cleaning kit — and — a leather pipe pouch — for my pipe and the cleaning kit comprising stainless steel scraper, reamer, cleaner for the tobacco bowl, chenille stems (straws to insert and clean the pipe stem) — and — to carry a tin/pouch of pipe tobacco.

In the evening — I sat in the wardroom — puffing away — with my new pipe between my lips.

The old “Sea Dog” walked into the wardroom — with his pipe firmly held between his lips.

The moment he saw me — his face glowed up — and — he smiled at me.

The old “Sea Dog” walked towards me — and — he sat down beside me.

Then — he educated me on all aspects of pipe smoking.

A few days later — he presented me with a Briar Pipe.

I enjoyed smoking a pipe — it gave me a unique pleasure — and — a sense of calmness and tranquility.

Relaxing after dinner — sipping Cognac — smoking my pipe — it was most pleasurable.

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(While I found Blended Scotch Whisky with Soda quite effective in lieu of an “aperitif” — I loved a nightcap of Cognac or Drambuie Liqueur as a digestif — especially after a hearty Navy Style dinner).

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I enjoyed smoking pipe during the day too.

It kept me calm and reduced my stress — and — probably made me a bit thoughtful.

I realized the virtues of pipe smoking.

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In the words of Albert Einstein:

“I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.”

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William Makepeace Thackeray opined:

“The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of the foolish; it generates a style of conversation, contemplative, thoughtful, benevolent, and unaffected.”

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Yes — pipe smoking certainly makes one contemplative.

However — when you smoke a pipe — for full effect of nicotine — you must inhale tobacco smoke.

The nicotine in pipe tobacco will boost your mental clarity, provide you more energy, and even soothe your fatigue, anxiety or nervousness — that is why pipe smoke must be deeply inhaled for maximum “benefit”.

I enjoyed pipe smoking for a few years — though I smoked cigarettes once in a while — when I found it inconvenient to carry my pipe.

I started off with the iconic “Three Nuns” Pipe Tobacco — and later — when appointed ashore — I experimented with various “Navy Cut” and “Flake” brands — and some “Blends” from Tobacconists — till I devised my own blend — which was deep, smooth and aromatic.

My pipe smoking days tapered off after marriage.

My “Better Half” didn’t like the omnipresent tobacco aroma and she also detested cleaning my pipes every alternate day — which involved immersing the pipe bowls overnight in rum and scraping them — a task I had “delegated” to her.

She would radiate “negative vibes” towards me whenever I sat down with my pipe in my lips to enjoy a smoke — and these “venomous vibes” would diminish the blissful enjoyment of my pipe smoking.

So — I reduced my pipe smoking — and soon — I was back to smoking cigarettes — though — I did smoke my pipe on rare occasions.

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Later — in the year 2002 — I quit smoking permanently — so — only nostalgic smoking memories remain.

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NAVY CUT

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By the way — if you are a smoker — or — if you have been a smoker — you may have come across the term “Navy Cut”.

In fact — “Navy Cut” cigarettes are quite popular.

Do you know what “Navy Cut” means…?

The term “Navy Cut” has its genesis from the habit of Navy Sailors who took a mixture of tobacco leaves, twisted them into a roll and tied it tightly with string or twine to bind the tobacco leaves — and then moistened the tobacco leaves in rum to mature, meld and blend — and “pressed” and stored the tobacco roll to mature.

Whenever the sailor wanted to have a smoke — he would “cut” off a slice from the tobacco roll and put it into his pipe.

This slice of tobacco was known as a “twist” or a “cut”.

In due course — with the advent of crafting of pipe and cigarette tobacco — all “twisted” and “pressed” tobacco became known as “Navy Cut” because of its popularity with Navy Sailors who liked its compactness, flavour and long-lasting slow-burning qualities.

Whereas Navy “Cut” Tobacco was cut from twisted, pressed and melded Tobacco — “Flake” Tobacco was the Traditional “Cut” of Pipe Tobacco — sliced from large pressed cubes (bricks) of tobacco.

“Flake” tobacco is supposed to have a rather “tobaccoish” taste as compared to the more flavoursome “Navy Cut”.

I am sure you must have come across “Navy Cut” and “Flake” cigarettes.

Here are pictures of popular “Navy Cut” and “Flake” cigarette brands of those days.

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PART 3

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EPILOGUE

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TATTOO RUM TOBACCO

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THE NAVY CONNECTION

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Dear Reader — the aim of this blog post is just to highlight the connection between Tobacco and the Navy — and not to eulogize smoking.

In fact — if you smoke — I will advise you to quit smoking — like I did more than 22 years ago in the year 2002.

Here is the story of How I Quit Smoking

(https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/05/31/how-to-quit-smoking-world-no-tobacco-day-wntd-blog/)

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In conclusion — I will say — the Navy has a connection with many things — especially three “Sins” — Tattoo, Rum and Tobacco — which were spread around the world by Sailors.

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3 NAVY “SINS”

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TATTOO RUM TOBACCO

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Do you have a Tattoo…?

Do you drink Rum…?

Do you smoke Tobacco…?

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If so — “blame” the Navy…!!! LOL

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Do read my blogs on TattooRum — and — Tobacco

TATTOO (Why do people Tattoo…?)

https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/06/30/tattoo-turn-on-or-turn-off/https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/06/30/tattoo-turn-on-or-turn-off/

RUM (History of Rum)

https://karve.wordpress.com/2023/07/31/black-tot-day-navy-grogs-and-tots/https://karve.wordpress.com/2023/07/31/black-tot-day-navy-grogs-and-tots/

TOBACCO (How to Quit Smoking)

https://karve.wordpress.com/2023/05/31/world-no-tobacco-day-story-how-to-quit-smoking/https://karve.wordpress.com/2023/05/31/world-no-tobacco-day-story-how-to-quit-smoking/

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
  3. E&OE

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/11/out-pipe-story-from-my-navy-days.html and also posted in my writing blog at url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/07/18/out-pipe-and-navy-cut/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/11/17/navy-cut/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/11/01/22295/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/07/05/humor-in-uniform-cigarette-band-%e0%a4%b8%e0%a4%bf%e0%a4%97%e0%a4%b0%e0%a5%87%e0%a4%9f-%e0%a4%ac%e0%a4%82%e0%a4%a6/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2023/01/06/humor-in-uniform-navy-cut-out-pipe/https://karve.wordpress.com/2023/01/06/humor-in-uniform-navy-cut-out-pipe/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2024/02/07/humor-at-sea-navy-cut/ etc

Part 1 of this Blog Post posted in my blog at url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/11/16/navy-cut-part-1/ and https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/11/out-pipe-part-1-story-from-my-navy-days.html \

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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Vikram Karve
Vikram Karve

Written by Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, alumnus IIT Delhi, Lawrence School Lovedale, Vikram Karve is a retired Navy Officer turned full time Writer and Blogger

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