How to deal with a Bully
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BULLYING
How to deal with Bullying
Story from My Navy Days by Vikram Karve
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BULLYING
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Bullying is an universal phenomenon.
It happens in schools, in colleges, at work, at home, in relationships.
With the advent of Internet and Social Media — the phenomenon of Bullying happens online too — “cyberbullying”.
It is easier to handle online bullying.
You can ignore, unfriend or block a Bully — especially in the case of social media cyberbullying.
Or — if things get worse — you can report cyberbullying to cyber-crime cells of the police.
However — if you are bullied offline in real life — you have to confront with the Bully face to face — physically.
Why do some sadistic persons bully others…?
A few causes of bullying (Why the bully bullies) are given below:
1. Insecurity
2. Envy
3. Power struggle
4. Prejudice
5. Negative peer pressure
6. Lack of purpose in life
7. Lack of empathy
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If Bullying is allowed to go on unchecked — the Bully may get emboldened to commit even more cruel bullying — including sadistic mental and physical abuse — and even indulge in sexual abuse.
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Here is a story on Bullying from my early Navy Days.
It may give you an insight on how to deal with a Bully.
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This story happened around 46 years ago…
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PROLOGUE
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On our ship — a frontline warship — there was a “Macho” Bully — a “Sadist”– a senior Lieutenant — let’s call him Lieutenant “J”
And — there was an Effeminate “Sissy” — a docile “Namby-Pamby” — a junior Lieutenant — let’s call him Lieutenant “K”
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Dear Reader — Here is their story — The Story of a “Macho” Bully and “Namby-Pamby” Sissy…
This story happened around 46 years ago…
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THE “BULLY” and THE “SISSY”
Story By Vikram Karve
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Dramatis Personae
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“Macho” Lieutenant “J” — The “BULLY” (a “SADIST”)
“Sissy” Lieutenant “K” — The “SISSY” (a “NAMBY-PAMBY”)
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Setting
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On a Frontline Warship (Frigate)
Circa — 1970’s
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“SUGAR” TREATMENT
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This happened long back — around 46 years ago — in the 1970’s.
On our ship — a frontline warship — a frigate — there was a bully — a “Sadist” — a senior Lieutenant — let’s call him Lieutenant “J”.
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(Now — a Naval Lieutenant is equivalent to an Army Captain — and those days — in the 1970’s — you remained in the rank of Lieutenant for 8 long years before you were promoted to Lieutenant Commander — equivalent to Major.
And — after you were commissioned as a Navy Officer — you became a Lieutenant after 3 years — so it took you 11 years of commissioned service to become a Lieutenant Commander.
But — suddenly in the year 2004 — the AVS Cadre Review Bonanza changed everything — and now everyone becomes a Lieutenant Commander in just 6 years commissioned service — and the prestige of rank has been diluted.
Those days — on a ship — except for the Captain — and Heads of Department (XO, EO, LO) — all officers were Lieutenants — and — of course — sometimes — there were a few under-trainee Sub Lieutenants and Midshipmen too…)
Now — after this “aside” — let me come back to our main story…
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As I told you earlier — “Macho” Lieutenant “J” — the Gunnery Officer — was the senior-most Lieutenant in the Wardroom.
And — there was “Sissy” Lieutenant “K” — the Senior Engineer Officer — who was the junior-most recently promoted Lieutenant.
Lieutenant “J” was more than 7 years senior to Lieutenant “K”.
Lieutenant “J” was a “Cadet Entry” Executive Officer with an imposing personality and intimidating manner — he was one of those “quintessential” haughty puffed-up “macho type” ex-Military School, ex-NDA officers — who thought they were prima donnas in uniform.
Lieutenant “K” was a rather meek looking docile Direct Entry Technical Officer — who had been directly commissioned as a Sub Lieutenant under the University Entry Scheme (UES).
The contrast between the two Lieutenants was stark.
Lieutenant “J” was a terror on the ship — as he moved around with a pompous swagger — full of bluster and bombast — bullshitting the hell out of anyone who came in his way.
Lieutenant “K” was a simple unpretentious officer — a thorough professional engineer — who kept to himself — and who quietly performed his duties efficiently — and did his job in a humble modest sort of way.
Lieutenant “J” was a sadistic bully — he had a terrible reputation of brutally bullying, cruelly ragging and physically abusing his juniors.
About Lieutenant “J”– one heard all sorts of “scuttlebutt” about his cruel sadism and dreadful exploits — maybe the stories were “bilge” — but then — there is no smoke without fire.
But — the gossip was so scary — that most officers kept clear of him .
And — the Sub Lieutenants and Midshipmen were especially terrified of him — as they heard wicked rumors that — Lieutenant “J” was a “bum bandit” — on the prowl for “peg boys”.
Lieutenant “J” made life hell for sailors too.
Sailors steered clear of him.
In fact — some sailors even avoided going ashore on “liberty” when Lieutenant “J” was on duty — in order to avoid encountering Lieutenant “J” on the gangway — since they did not want to risk the danger of being put on charge as a “defaulter” — for some trivial issue.
“Macho” Lieutenant “J” took special delight in bullying “Sissy” Lieutenant “K”.
Maybe — Lieutenant “J” had some wicked ulterior nefarious designs in his mind — for which he was trying to subjugate Lieutenant “K”.
Or maybe — Lieutenant “J” liked to target Lieutenant “K” — just because he was a University Entry Officer — because Lieutenant “J” thought himself to be a “cat’s whiskers” Cadet Entry Officer — and he considered Lieutenant “K” a lowly “poltroon” — who did not deserve to wear stripes.
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(Lieutenant “J” derisively called “Direct Entry” Officers as “Dope Entry” Officers)
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Once — in full view of all the sailors — Lieutenant “J” belittled Lieutenant “K” by publicly shouting at him.
Lieutenant “J” shouted at Lieutenant “K”:
“We cadet entry officers go through the full tough grind — I got screwed for 6 years in military school — then we were rogered for 3 years at NDA — but the buggering didn’t end there. We had to toil for 6 months as a sea cadet — then we sweat it out as a midshipman for another 6 months — and finally — I got my stripe after so many years of jiggering. And — you bloody “dope entry” buggers just walk into the Navy with a stripe on your shoulder…”
“Sir — how does type of “entry” matter — once we are in the Navy — we are all equal officers…” retorted Lieutenant “K”.
“You consider yourself equal to me…? My bloody foot…!!! You are a bloody sissy who can’t even take charge of your sailors — just look at the way your engine-room sailors move around in a bloody slothful manner — you are a bloody disgrace to uniform — a sissy with zero OLQ (Officer Like Qualities)…” Lieutenant “J” shouted at Lieutenant “K”.
Lieutenant “K” felt humiliated at being insulted in front of sailors.
But — Lieutenant “K” did not want to get into an argument with Lieutenant “J”.
So — Lieutenant “K” walked away — and — he went straight to his boss — the Engineer Officer (EO)
Lieutenant “K” complained to his boss (the EO):
“Sir — ever since I have come — Lieutenant “J” has been talking to me in an insulting manner — and today — he humiliated me in front of sailors…”
“Go and tell the Executive Officer (XO) — he is the Head of the Executive Department — you see — Lieutenant “J”’s HOD in the XO — so you must complain to him…” the Engineer Officer (EO) said.
The EO had no guts to admonish Lieutenant “J” — so he passed the buck to the XO.
Lieutenant “K” went to the XO — and he complained to the XO about Lieutenant “J”.
“Go to your EO — he is your Head of Department — an officer must always come through his HOD…” the XO said.
“Sir — I had gone to the EO. He told me to come to you — since you are the HOD of Lieutenant “J”…”
“Don’t act like a bloody sissy and come crying to me. You are an officer — so you sort out your own problems yourself…” the XO bullshitted Lieutenant “K”.
The fact of the matter was that both the EO and XO were scared of Lieutenant “J” — though both the EO and XO outranked Lieutenant “J.
As I told you earlier — Lieutenant “J” had an imposing personality.
And — to add to his “macho” image was his impressive motorcycle.
Yes — Lieutenant “J” had a mighty Bullet Motorcycle which was his prized possession.
“Macho” Lieutenant “J” was passionate about his motorcycle.
Lieutenant “J” had “jazzed up” his motorcycle with all sorts of glitzy adornments, ornate accoutrements and fancy gadgets — shining electroplated exteriors, klaxon horns, showy lights, special wheels etc — in a word — his motorcycle looked magnificent.
On Sunday morning — at around 11 AM — “Macho” Lieutenant “J” was seen kicking his motorcycle and driving off in style.
As usual — Lieutenant “J” had painted the town red on Saturday evening till past midnight.
“Macho” Lieutenant “J” had slept late on Sunday morning — woken up around 10 AM — hurriedly got ready — and — as per his Sunday routine — Lieutenant “J” was on his way to the Mahalaxmi Racecourse for the Sunday Races.
“Sissy” Lieutenant “K” smiled cannily — as he saw “Macho” Lieutenant “J” drive off on his motorcycle.
Then — “Sissy” Lieutenant “K” too decided to go ashore.
Lieutenant “K” did not have a vehicle — so he would walk down to Colaba — spend some time browsing on the Causeway — have a Biryani lunch at Olympia — and then — maybe see a movie at Regal or Eros — and later — spend the evening loafing on Marine Drive.
When “Sissy” Lieutenant “K” returned on board ship in the evening — he saw that “Macho” Lieutenant “J” had lined up the OOD and the Duty Watch Sailors near the Gangway — and — “Macho” Lieutenant “J” was shouting at them furiously.
“Macho” Lieutenant “J” seemed to be in a foul mood — so “Sissy” Lieutenant “K” quietly went down to his cabin.
Later — when “Sissy” Lieutenant “K” went down to the Wardroom for dinner — he found the “Officer of the Day” (OOD) sitting there.
“Sir — why was Lieutenant “J” shouting on the gangway — did he lose money at the horse races…?” Lieutenant “K” asked the OOD.
“His bloody motorcycle packed-up — the engine conked-off and stalled while he was driving to the racecourse…” the OOD said.
“So what is Lieutenant “J” so angry about — any machine can fail — surely he can get his bike repaired…” Lieutenant “K” said.
“It’s not so simple — Lieutenant “J” said that his motorcycle engine has seized — the entire system has got fouled up — the mechanic said that the bike required complete engine overhaul or maybe even a new engine — and it’s going to cost him a fortune…” the OOD said.
“Oh — so that’s why Lieutenant “J” is so upset…?” Lieutenant “K” said.
“That’s just one part of the story — actually Lieutenant “J” is financially quite well-off — so money is not a problem for him — the bigger issue is that his ego and pride have been hurt — Lieutenant “J” thinks it is sabotage…” the OOD said.
“Sabotage…?”
“The mechanic told him that someone put some mucky stuff into the petrol tank — probably sugar…”
“Sugar…? So what happens if you put sugar in a motorcycle petrol tank…?”
“You tell me — you are the Engineer on board this ship — aren’t you…?” the OOD said to Lieutenant “K”.
Lieutenant “K” remained silent.
For sometime — the OOD looked cannily at Lieutenant “K”
And then — the OOD said to Lieutenant “K”:
“Well — in the Wardroom we are not supposed to stand drinks to fellow officers — but — I think I will buy you a drink — you certainly deserve one…”
“Sir…? Drink…? Me…? You want to buy me a drink…?” Lieutenant “K” asked, surprised.
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The OOD said to Lieutenant “K”:
“Well — let me tell you about two unrelated incidents:
1. The Steward reported to me that a bag of Sugar is missing from the Pantry.
and
2. The Quartermaster told me that you went ashore early in the morning — at around 5:30 AM — even before “Hands-Call”– and he saw you walking on the jetty — near the vehicle park…”
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Lieutenant “K” smiled like a Cheshire Cat — but said nothing.
For some time — Lieutenant “K” remained silent.
Then — Lieutenant “K” smiled at the OOD — and he said to the OOD:
“Sir — I think I will have that drink…”
“Sure — but you better be careful. That sadistic bugger — Lieutenant “J” — heis sure to find out the truth — and then — he will have a go at you and try to screw the hell out of you. So — you keep a “sharp lookout”…” the OOD warned Lieutenant “K”
“Let him find out — he won’t do anything — Lieutenant “J” is a bloody bully — and all bullies are cowards…” Lieutenant “K” said.
“What do you mean…?” the OOD said.
“Have you read the novel “Godfather”…? Or — have you seen the movie “Godfather” starring Marlon Brando…?”
“Yes…”
“Do you remember the horrific “horse-head” scene — where the movie producer finds the bloody severed head of his horse in his bed…”
“Yes…”
“And — the arrogant producer is so shaken up — that he meekly submits to Godfather Don Corleone’s request — doesn’t he…?
“So…?”
“Well — this time — I “fingered” his motorcycle. Next time — who knows what will happen…? And — Lieutenant “J” knows this…” Lieutenant “K” said, in a soft voice but chilling tone.
On seeing the cold unemotional manner in which the meek-looking Senior Engineer Lieutenant “K” spoke these words in a soft chilling tone — the OOD felt a tremor of fear himself.
On a ship — it is difficult to keep anything secret.
“Scuttlebutt” spreads fast.
Soon — the ship’s grapevine was abuzz with the story of how the docile looking unpretentious Senior Engineer Lieutenant “K” had deflated the Haughty Gasbag Lieutenant “J” — by giving him the “Sugar Treatment”…”
The Docile “Sissy” Lieutenant “K” had “slam-dunked” the Sadistic “Macho” Lieutenant “J” nice and proper.
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Dear Reader — to cut a long story short:
From then on — the “Pompous” “Macho” Lieutenant “J” kept clear of the “Coy” “Sissy” Lieutenant “K”
And — after this episode of “Sugar Treatment” — everyone on the ship treated the Senior Engineer Lieutenant “K” with healthy respect and admiration.
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VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
- This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
- This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
- E&OE
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/06/how-to-deal-with-bully-navy-style-sugar.html
This fictional spoof was written by me Vikram Karve more than 8 years ago on 16 April 2015 and posted online by me earlier in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/04/humor-in-uniform-sugar-treatment.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/05/how-to-deal-with-bully-navy-style-humor.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/humor-in-uniform-macho-sissy-and-sugar.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/11/bully-and-sissy-humor-in-uniform.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/04/humor-in-uniform-slam-dunk.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/humor-in-uniform-sissy.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/11/humor-in-uniform-sugar-treatment.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/06/how-to-deal-with-bully-navy-style-sugar.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/03/05/humor-in-uniform-sugar-treatment/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/12/12/the-bully/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/08/04/how-to-deal-with-a-bully-sugar-treatment-navy-style/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/06/22/story-of-a-macho-bully-and-namby-pamby-sissy-2/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/03/27/humor-in-uniform-the-bully-and-the-sissy/ and https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-deal-bullying-vikram-karve/ and https://medium.com/@vikramkarve/the-bully-d62f7a9e2e23 etc
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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