“Eyebrows” : a romance story

Vikram Karve

17 min readNov 13, 2023

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EYEBROWS

Romance Story By Vikram Karve

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EYEBROWS

PART 1

My Boss’s Wife

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MY BOSS’S WIFE

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She was really beautiful — incredibly alluring — so captivating — that — I could not take my eyes off her.

Yes — Dear Reader — she was an exquisite beauty — with flawless fair complexion — her luxuriant black hair flowing down her back — her sharp features accentuated by the light falling on her face — her nose slightly turned up, so slender and translucent — as though accustomed to smelling nothing but perfumes.

I stared at her face — totally awestruck by her beauty.

She was stunningly attractive, a real beauty, smashing, sophisticated, elegant, truly chic — my type of woman — optimally designed, precisely engineered and finished to perfection.

I fell madly in love with her — I desperately desired to possess her.

Till that moment — I had never wanted anything belonging to someone else.

Yes — she belonged to someone else.

She was married.

In fact — she was married to my Boss.

She was my Boss’s Wife.

I looked intently into her radiating eyes — totally mesmerized by her beauty.

“Why are you staring at me…?” she said — breaking my trance.

“I am sorry…” I said, contrite.

“I saw you staring at me. You tell me — why were you staring at me…? Were you looking at my eyebrows…?” she said, looking anxious.

“No. No. I was looking at your face — you look so beautiful…” I stammered.

“Don’t lie. You were looking at my eyebrows…” she said.

“No — I was looking at your face…” I said, embarrassed.

“I saw you looking directly…” she said, curtly.

“I was looking into your eyes — your eyes are so beautiful…” I said, truthfully.

“And — my eyebrows are horrible — are they…? she said, looking dismayed.

“No. No. Your eyebrows are…” I tried to say — but — she didn’t wait for me to finish the sentence — she turned abruptly — and she walked away.

I saw her leave the wardroom — so — I decided to follow her.

She was standing in the alleyway — and she was looking intently into the full-size mirror outside the wardroom — the mirror in which we were supposed to check if we were properly dressed — if our uniform was spick-and-span — and our grooming was neat and proper.

While looking into the mirror — from time to time — she was touching her eyebrows.

It was quite clear that she was checking out her eyebrows.

But — I looked at her from top to bottom.

Even in her side profile — she was stunningly attractive — and ravishingly sensuous.

She had worn her sari in a manner that was so revealing that she might as well have worn nothing.

Her shapely breasts were boldly outlined under her low-cut flimsy blouse.

She had tucked her sari tightly — and had worn it low — accentuating the curves of her well-proportioned derriere — and enhancing the sex appeal of her smooth stomach, adorned with a perfect navel.

I let my eyes travel over her exquisite body — and feast on her beauty.

I was making love to her with my eyes — when suddenly — a few hard taps on my shoulder jerked me out of my lovely enthralling state of trance-like bliss.

I turned around.

It was “Doc” — our ship’s Medical Officer.

“What are you doing…? Are you crazy…?” he said, “Even the Captain has noticed you ogling at her — he has gone to the head for a piddle — you better get inside before he comes back…”

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“Head” is Navy Slang for the Toilet on a Ship.

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Observing me passionately eyeing my Boss’s Wife with a yearning look — “Doc” seemed to get anxious.

So — “Doc” said angrily to me:

“What are you doing…?

Are you crazy…?

Even the Captain has noticed you ogling at her.

The Captain has gone to the head for a “piddle” — you better get inside the wardroom before he comes back…”

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And — “Doc” pulled me towards the Wardroom.

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(Wardroom is the Naval Officers Mess on board Navy Warships and Stone Frigates)

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We went inside the wardroom — and “Doc” took me to the bar.

He made sure I kept clear of my Boss’s Wife.

I wanted to talk to my Boss’s Wife — but “Doc” strongly advised me not to do so.

“Let me speak to her just once…” I pleaded with him.

“Don’t be stupid. I have noticed — the Captain has noticed — soon — her husband — your boss — he will notice too…” he said.

“Notice what…?” I asked, curious.

“You have fallen madly in love with her…” he said.

“What nonsense…?” I interrupted “Doc” — and I said angrily to him, “how can you assume such things…?”

“I saw the intimate way in which you were talking to her — and later — the lustful way you were eyeing her in the alleyway — you are not only madly in love with her — you are desperately horny for her too — but remember — she is a married woman — on top of it — she is your Boss’s Wife — it is best for you to keep away from her — do you understand…?” he said — with a tinge of admonishment in his voice.

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I thought about it.

What “Doc” was saying was true — I was indeed passionately yearning for her — and I might do something stupid that would get me into big trouble and ruin my navy career.

So — I listened to “Doc” — and — I kept away from my Boss’s Wife for the rest of the evening.

After dinner — towards the end of the party — my Boss’s Wife walked towards me — looking a bit miffed as she spoke to me.

“Where did you vanish…? I wanted to talk to you…” my Boss’s Wife said to me.

“I was talking to “Doc” — our Ship’s Medical Officer…” I said — and — I introduced “Doc” to her.

“Ah — you are a doctor…” my Boss’s Wife said — she looked at me — then she looked at “Doc” — and she said to him, “he must have told you about my eyebrows — I must do something about it — “make up and beauty treatments aren’t working — I need to go in for a permanent makeover of my eyebrows — maybe — some eyebrow correction surgery — do you know anyone…?”

“Doc” said to her:

“I will check Ma’am — I think a classmate of mine from medical college is a cosmetic surgeon…”

“Oh — is he in Mumbai…?” my Boss’s Wife interrupted “Doc”.

“Yes…” said “Doc” to my Boss’s Wife, “he is in Mumbai. I’ll find out his contact details and give them to your husband…”

“So nice of you — but please hurry — I must get something done about my eyebrows…”my Boss’s Wife said to “Doc”.

Then — she smiled — she wished us “Good Night” — and she walked away.

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EYEBROWS

PART 2

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) aka Dysmorphophobia

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EYEBROW DYSMORPHIC DISORDER (EDD)

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After the party was over — we — “Doc” and Me — we decided to walk on the jetty — and “after dinner” walk to digest the heavy party dinner.

“Doc” said to me:

“You are crazy bugger — your boss has just reported to the ship — and you start brazenly flirting with his wife in her “welcome party”…”

“I told you — I was just admiring her beauty — her lovely eyes — but it was she who “accused” me of staring at her “eyebrows” — I think she was “flirting” with me — remember — even after you pulled me away — and I avoided her — she came again to talk to me — she is openly flirting with me — I think she wants to have an affair with me…” I said.

“Stop fantasizing…” “Doc” said to me, “she isn’t flirting with you — she is worried about her “eyebrows”…”

“She is so beautiful — her complexion is flawless — her body is superb — but she is obsessed with her eyebrows. Tell me — she is so lovely — who is going to notice her eyebrows — or — even bother about them…?” I said to “Doc”.

“She does — doesn’t she…?” “Doc” said, “I think she has BDD…”

“BDD…?” I asked, clueless.

“BDD is the short form for Body Dysmorphic Disorder — also called Dysmorphophobia…” “Doc” said.

“What the hell is that…? Sounds like gobbledegook to me…” I said to “Doc”.

“Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD is a mental disorder where you get obsessed with a perceived flaw or blemish in some part of your body — which you feel affects your appearance or makes you look ugly. In most cases the imperfection is either imagined or it is so minor that it may not be noticed by others — but you feel that this “defect” makes you look unattractive — and you are obsessed with “correcting” the imaginary flaw. Like your Boss’s Wife thinks that there is something wrong her eyebrows and she is desperate to “correct” the perceived flaw in her eyebrows — even extreme measures like surgery…” said “Doc”.

“But there is nothing wrong with her eyebrows — I told her that…” I said.

“She won’t believe you — if she has BDD — she will be convinced that there is something wrong with her eyebrows — however much you try to reassure her that her eyebrows look normal…” “Doc” said, “did you see that way she was looking into the mirror — she was probably so preoccupied inspecting her eyebrows that she didn’t even notice you ogling brazenly at her body…”

“Yes…” I said, “even later — when she came to say “goodbye” to me — she was asking you about eyebrow correction surgery…”

“She won’t rest till something is done to her eyebrows…” “Doc” said.

“So — what do we do…?” I asked “Doc”.

“Well — I’ll talk to my classmate — who is a cosmetic surgeon — he will he happy to have a new patient…” “Doc” said.

“And my Boss’s Wife will be happy…” I said to “Doc”.

“I hope so…” “Doc” said, “hopefully she will be satisfied with the results — or she may still feel that her eyebrows are not okay and keep seeking other corrective treatments for her eyebrows — or worse — she may start finding new flaws on other parts of her body in case her dysmorphic tendencies are severe. Then she may require psychological counselling — or even psychiatric treatment — after all — BDD is a mental health disorder…”

“How do you know all this…?” I asked “Doc”.

“Because I am a psychiatrist…?” “Doc” said.

“What…?” I said surprised, “I didn’t know you were a bloody “shrink”…!!!”

“I don’t publicise it…” “Doc” said, “in the Military — people are shit scared of psychiatrists — so — everyone keeps away from us — just see the way you reacted the moment you came to know that I am a psychiatrist…!!!”

“But how did you land up here on the ship…?” I asked “Doc”.

“Just when I completed my specialisation — the buggers realised that I hadn’t done any “sea time” since I joined — so they posted me on this ship as medical officer. I hope to be out in 3 months the moment I get one Interim Confidential Report (ICR) — then I’ll be posted to a hospital as psychiatric specialist…” “Doc” said, “please keep it to yourself…”

“Of course…” I said to “Doc”, “I will keep it to myself and I will continue being your friend even though I now know that you are a “shrink”…”

And then — we started walking back towards our ship’s gangway.

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EYEBROWS

PART 3

Eyebrow Watching

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EYEBROW WATCHING

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To be honest — before this encounter with my Boss’s Wife — I had never noticed eyebrows.

Earlier — whenever I saw a beautiful woman — I would admire her face, her eyes, her nose, her lips, her cheeks, her complexion, her neck, her hair, her legs, her cleavage, her derriere, her … — well — I will leave the rest to your imagination.

Let me just say that I would admire a woman’s entire body — but — I don’t recall admiring eyebrows.

Now — after the tête-à-tête with my Boss’s Wife — whenever I saw a beautiful woman — I would first look at her eyebrows.

You must have heard of Birdwatching as a hobby.

In Birdwatching — you observe actual birds in their natural surroundings.

You may have also indulged in “Birdwatching” — in your younger days.

In “Birdwatching” — you “watch” two-legged “birds” on streets, in workplaces etc. in urban surroundings.

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“BIRDWATCHING”

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Apropos the second type of “Birdwatching”:

There are three styles of “Birdwatching”:

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1. You “watch” the entire “Bird”.

(like a GP or Physician who looks after your entire body)

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2. You can become a Birdwatching “Specialist”.

And — like “Specialists” do — you can “specialize” in “watching” a certain part of the “Bird” — like face reading, hair admiring or neck, bosom, cleavage, midriff, waist, derrière, leg gazing etc. etc. etc.

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3. You can become a Birdwatching “Super-Specialist”

And — narrow down your focus to precise minute aspects of the “Bird” — like eyes, lips, moles, navel etc. — and — of course — “eyebrows”.

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“EYEBROW WATCHING”

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“Eyebrow Watching” is a “super-specialization” of “birdwatching” — instead of “watching” the entire “bird” — or observing the entire face — you focus your attention on “eyebrows” only.

I have derived great pleasure in this hobby of “eyebrow watching” — and — I will always be grateful to my Boss’s Wife who first drew my attention to the beauty and significance of eyebrows.

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Now — to come back to the story — I developed a deep curious interest in eyebrows.

So — whenever I met people — I started observing their eyebrows.

As I started observing various types of human “eyebrows” — I was fascinated by this rather “insignificant” part of human “anatomy”.

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Dear Reader — this story happened 45 years ago in the 1970’s — when internet and search engines like Google did not exist — and — the only source of information was books.

So — one evening — I walked down from my ship to my favourite bookstore in Fort, Mumbai — and — I asked the owner of the book shop:

“Have you got a book on eyebrows…?”

The bookshop owner gave me a curious look and said:

“Eyebrows…? We may not have a book on “eyebrows” — but — we do have a good book on “Face Reading” — it may have a section of “Eyebrows” — let me see…”

He searched the shelves and pulled out a book on FACE READING.

I eagerly opened the book — yes — it had a few pages on “eyebrows” — with sketches too.

I bought the book and rushed back to my ship — eager to read it.

The first thing I learnt was that the art of face reading was called physiognomy.

But — at that moment — I wasn’t quite interested in the rest of the face.

So — I immediately went to the pages on “eyebrows”.

I started using my newfound knowledge immediately — and — I started observing “eyebrows”.

“Why are you looking so deep into my eyes…? Are you trying to seduce me…?” a woman said to me.

“I am not looking at your eyes — I am looking at your eyebrows…” I said to her.

“What…? Are you a weirdo or something…? Staring at eyebrows…!!!” she said with disgust — and — she angrily walked away.

What an irony — when I was looking deep into the eyes of my Boss’s Wife — she thought I was looking at her eyebrows — and now — this woman — I was looking at her eyebrows — and she thought I was looking deep into her eyes — trying to seduce her.

At a party — I observed “Doc” talking to a woman for a long time.

“You are on the right track — bash on regardless…” I said to him.

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“Doc” looked at me — confused.

“What do you mean — that — “I am on the right track”…?” he asked me.

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I decided to explain my eyebrow observation inference to “Doc”.

“The woman you were talking to — did you notice her lush “eyebrows” — how “bushy” her eyebrows were…?” I said to “Doc”.

“What are you trying to say…?” he said, looking curious.

“Weren’t you trying to seduce her…? If so — you are “spot on” — I think you will be successful in seducing her…” I said to him.

“Seduce her…? She is a colleague — and what the hell have her “eyebrows” got to do with it…?” he said.

“The theory says that if you want to seduce a woman — try with a woman who has thick and bushy “eyebrows”…” I said to “Doc”.

“Where did you read this bloody theory…?” he said, suspiciously.

“I have got a book on face reading — physiognomy — in your medical lingo — and — it is written there that bushy eyebrows show a high sex drive — so — if you want to seduce a woman — try with a woman who has thick and bushy eyebrows…” I said to “Doc”.

“Don’t bullshit…” “Doc” said, “a woman can thicken her eyebrows with make-up — or even cosmetic surgery — an eyebrow transplant…”

“I was talking about natural eyebrows — maybe some women thicken their eyebrows artificially because they want to attract men — it is a well-known fact that women with thicker eyebrows look more attractive to me…” I said.

“Well — I didn’t know that…!!!” “Doc” said, “where have you suddenly acquired all this “eyebrow knowledge”…?”

“I told you that I bought a book on “face reading”…” I said, “there is a full section on “eyebrows”…”

“Your Boss’s Wife has driven you crazy — both of you are obsessed with eyebrows — she has “eyebrow dysmorphophobia” — and you have developed a bloody “fetish” for eyebrows…” “Doc” said to me.

When he mentioned my Boss’s Wife — I suddenly remembered that “Doc” had promised to give her details of a cosmetic surgeon to “correct” her eyebrows.

“Hey — did you give my Boss’s Wife the contact details of your Cosmetic Surgeon friend…?” I asked “Doc”.

“Yes — I gave her his phone number at the beginning of the party…” he said.

Indeed — “Doc” had given my Boss’s Wife the Cosmetic Surgeon’s phone number — because — a few days later — my Boss asked me to call the “Doc” to his cabin — and — he started shouting at “Doc”:

“Why the hell did you give my wife that Cosmetic Surgeon’s phone number…?

Do you know how much it is going to cost me…?”

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After saying these words — my Boss looked angrily at “Doc”.

“Sir — she asked if I knew any good Cosmetic Surgeon…” “Doc” said, sheepishly.

“And you…!” my Boss looked at me — and he said to me, “what the hell did you tell my wife…?”

“Sir — I was looking at her — but she thought I was looking at her eyebrows…” I said, feeling awkward.

“I don’t know why — but ever since we got married — she keeps thinking that something is wrong with her eyebrows…” my Boss said.

“Sir — actually — your wife has got perfect eyebrows — “eyebrows on fleek” — as they are called — absolutely flawless…” I said to my Boss, “there is nothing wrong with her eyebrows — she has got BDD — Body Dysmorphic Disorder — I think she needs to consult a psychiatrist…”

“You bloody idiots…” my Boss shouted, “first — you want to send my wife to a cosmetic surgeon — and now — are you telling me that my wife is a mental case…? You two just get out of my sight right now — and — you buggers better keep away from my wife…”

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“Doc” and I — we both beat a hasty retreat.

Well — Dear Reader:

My Boss’s Wife indeed had BDD — or specifically “Eyebrow BDD” — because — even after a series of treatments — an eyebrow transplant — eyebrow lift — etc. etc. etc. — her obsession with her eyebrows continued.

I don’t know whether my Boss took her for psychiatric treatment or not — because soon — I was transferred from this ship to another ship.

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But — before I conclude this part of the story — let me tell you what happened at my farewell party on this ship.

As a courtesy — my Captain’s wife came to talk to me.

During my conversation with her — I lavishly praised her eyebrows.

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I said to my Captain’s wife:

“Ma’am — you have lovely eyebrows — soft rounded eyebrows — perfect for your heart shaped face.

The shape of your beautiful eyebrows indicate that you are a very kind and compassionate person and you always care for other people’s needs…”

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My Captain’s wife gave me a loving smile.

Then — with an affectionate look — she said to me:

“Really…? You are so nice…”

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She actually started blushing.

Just imagine — she was probably more than double my age.

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Next morning — I reported to the Captain before leaving the ship.

“Sir — there is one thing I always wanted to tell you…” I said to him.

“Shoot…” he said — in his characteristic style.

“Sir — your eyebrows — you have got a unibrow — a monobrow — it is a sign of good luck and signifies virility and fertility…” I said to him.

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I thought the Captain would be happy on hearing these words of praise for his eyebrows.

But — the Captain seemed to be angry.

He gave me a tough look and spoke angrily.

“You get out of here before I declare you a bloody “psycho”…” the Captain shouted at me, “last night — my wife said that you told her some “mumbo jumbo” about her eyebrows — and now — you are trying to bullshit me…!!!”

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I saluted the Captain — and — I beat a hasty retreat.

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EPILOGUE

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Since those days — I have derived great pleasure in this hobby of “eyebrow watching” — and — I will always be grateful to my Boss’s Wife who first drew my attention to the beauty and significance of eyebrows.

As far as Dysmorphophobia aka Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is concerned — I feel that:

Social Media may proliferate BDD

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Due to Social Media — Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc — body dysmorphic tendencies may proliferate and rise — as many young people may become preoccupied with looking good in the photos they upload — especially “selfies”.

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One side-effect of the recent COVID Pandemic was that eyebrows attained prominence — with masks covering the nose and lips.

During the long COVID Lockdown — with beauty parlours closed — eyebrows started attaining their natural shape — and you could make out who really had good natural eyebrows.

“Eyebrow Watching” certainly became interesting in those COVID Pandemic Days — with “mask up” protocol highlighting the prominence of eyes and eyebrows — and reducing the importance of nose and lips.

COVID Protocol caused a paradigm shift in the definition of beauty — especially facial beauty.

For over two years — eyes and eyebrows acquired prominence and portrayed your beauty — with the rest of your facial features covered up under masks.

COVID has gone away — though some people are still wearing masks — for most — the masks have come off.

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But — now that you have started appreciating the beauty of eyebrows — I am sure you will keep observing and “studying” eyebrows when you see someone.

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MORAL OF THE STORY

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After reading this story — if you start observing eyebrows — offline and online — I will feel that my story “Eyebrows” has succeeded in creating the desired effect.

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Offline — in real life — look at people — notice their eyebrows.

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Even if they are wearing masks — you can easily observe eyebrows because masks cover lips and nose — not eyebrows.

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Online — on the Social Media — look at Profile Pictures and Selfies — observe eyebrows.

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And — Dear Reader:

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When you look into the mirror — observe your own eyebrows.

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And then — if you get hooked to “Eyebrow Watching” — you can always “Google” — and learn all you want to know about “Eyebrows”.

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Dear Reader:

Happy “Eyebrow Watching” — online — and — offline…!!!

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
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Disclaimer:

This blog post is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
E&OE

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Continued from Eyebrows url: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2021/07/eyebrows.html

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“Eyebrows” : a romance story

Written by Vikram Karve