Dating Advice : Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate”

Are you thinking of “Dating” someone…?

Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate”

Yes — in a nutshell — that is my advice to you:

Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate”

You don’t agree with me…?

Looks like you are “out of date” on “Dating”

Let me give you a “refresher course” on “Dating”….


Spoof on Dating and Romance By Vikram Karve

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:


A “Girl” has asked me out on a “Date”.

Since — I am “out of date” on “dating” — I decided to re-check the meaning of the term “dating”.

So — I “Googled” the word “Dating” — and the top hit was the Wikipedia Page on “Dating”.

Here is the “definition” of “Dating” from the Wikipedia Page on Dating

(url: accessed on 07 March 2016):

Dating is a part of the human mating process — whereby — two people meet socially for companionship — beyond the level of friendship — or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.

Later — there is an elaboration:

One of the main purposes of dating is for two or more people to evaluate one another’s suitability as a long term companion or spouse.

From the definition of “dating” above — I surmise that:

The principal objective of “Dating” is — “to assess the suitability of the “Dating Partner” — for an “Intimate Relationship” — or as a “Prospective Wife/Husband”

The aim of “Dating” is to assess the “suitability” of the “Dating Partner”:

  1. For an “Intimate Relationship”


  1. As a “Prospective Wife/Husband”

So — in the light of the definition of dating — I reflected on the “moot question”:

“Should I accept the girl’s dating proposal and go out on a date with her…?”

Well — let me ruminate on the two salient aspects of the “dating” definition:


I am married.

In fact — I am “much married” for more than 36 years to the same wife.

And — I do not intend to divorce my wife and marry the “girl” who has asked me out for a “date”.

Actually — even if I want to marry the “girl” — it may not be feasible — since my wife may not be very eager to divorce me.

So — why should I waste time and resources “assessing” the girl’s “suitability” as a “prospective wife” — when I know that marrying her is not possible.

Now — does the “girl” want to “date” me in order to assess my “suitability” as a “Prospective Husband”…?

Well — you will have to ask her that.


And — since I am married — as far as having an extra-marital “intimate relationship” is concerned — the less said the better.


As far as going on a “date” with the “girl” is concerned — for me — both objectives of “dating” don’t seem feasible to achieve.

I cannot marry the girl.

I am not inclined to have an “intimate relationship” with her.

So — with both options closed (“marriage” and “intimate relationship”) — sadly — for me — the pleasure of “dating” is ruled out.


Well — you may console me and say:

“Why don’t you take your wife out on a “date”…?”

Come on — don’t be crazy.

Do you want me to assess the suitability of my own wife for an “intimate relationship” (or as a “prospective wife”) after being married to her for more than 36 years…?


So — “Dating” is ruled out for me — both inside marriage and outside marriage.

Yes — no “intra-marital” dating for me.

And — no “extra-marital” dating for me.

In fact — in my entire life — I have never had the experience of “dating”.

So — no “pre-marital” dating for me.

I have had zero dates — “pre-marital”, “intra-marital” or “extra-marital” — yes — I have had a “zero dating life”.

Sadly — I am destined to live a “dateless” life.


Let me summarize and recap the 3 salient aspects of “Dating”:

  1. “Dating”is a part of the Human “Mating” Process

(So — Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate”…)

  1. The principal objective of “Dating” is “to assess the suitability of the “Dating Partner”for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Wife/Husband…”

(So — Don’t “Date” someone unless you are considering having an “Intimate Relationship” with that person or are serious about “marrying” that person…)

  1. “Dating” your own Spouse is infructuous

(Do you want to assess the suitability of your own husband/wife for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Husband/Wife…?)

Dear Friends:

Since I am “Much Married” — and — I am a “Puritan” Prude — the pleasure of “Dating” is ruled out for me.

So — all I can do — is to wish you “Happy Dating” (and “Mating”)


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This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

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Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

A creative person with a zest for life, alumnus IIT Delhi, Lawrence School Lovedale, Vikram Karve is a retired Navy Officer turned full time Writer and Blogger